Will you get better?

"What am I supposed to do if there's no you?” The first time I heard the song, “Soon You’ll Get Better” by Taylor Swift, I immediately started crying. The day it was released to the public, my husband sent me a text saying, “You need to listen to this song right now.” He knew the profound effect it would have on me.

My understanding is that the song was written about her mom, and I had lost my mom a few years earlier. My mom had not suffered from any ongoing medical condition that caused me to think of her when I first heard this song. Even though I miss her everyday because my mom was an amazing woman, and her passing was a sudden and life-altering occurrence, she was not the first loved one to come to my mind. Perhaps it is a reflection of how beautiful her life was with very little physical suffering that made me place her in a box of gratitude, rather than one of overwhelming, extensive pain.

But for some reason, this song caused me to become overwhelmed with grief for myself and every family I know that has experienced these words of hope (and loss of hope) concerning their special needs child. I gathered my weeping self and texted our daughter who works in the entertainment industry and told her that I was adopting this song as the anthem for every special needs family.

These lyrics cut into me deeply. It was only recently that my family reminded me that the “holy orange bottles” were just like Robert’s 30-40 medicine bottles that lined an entire section of cabinets and drawers in our kitchen—such a brilliant and poignantly visual lyric.

“Holy orange bottles, each night I pray to you. Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus too.”

And now, I come to this painfully familiar question, “Will you get better?” It is the question that lingers everyday, whether spoken or hidden closely in your heart. I do not know whom you hope will get better. I will not pretend that my life or your life is void of these questions. It is just reality. All of us will ask this question in our lifetime…and some of us will know the answer before we to dare to ask it.

Keep this song on repeat on the days when you don’t get an answer to this question, or when you sadly already know the answer. The pure beauty of the music can get you through the hours.

Listening Library: Soon You’ll Get Better (Taylor Swift)

https://youtu.be/tMoW5G5LU08

“Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15 NLT)

Soon You’ll Get Better

The buttons of my coat were tangled in my hair In doctor's-office-lighting, I didn't tell you I was scared That was the first time we were there Holy orange bottles, each night I pray to you Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus too And I say to you

Ooh-ah, soon you'll get better Ooh-ah, soon you'll get better Ooh-ah, you'll get better soon 'Cause you have to

I know delusion when I see it in the mirror You like the nicer nurses, you make the best of a bad deal I just pretend it isn't real I'll paint the kitchen neon, I'll brighten up the sky I know I'll never get it, there's not a day that I won't try And I'll say to you

Ooh-ah, soon you'll get better Ooh-ah, soon you'll get better Ooh-ah, you'll get better soon 'Cause you have to

And I hate to make this all about me But who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do If there's no you?

This won't go back to normal, if it ever was It's been years of hoping, and I keep saying it because 'Cause I have to

Ooh-ah, you'll get better Ooh-ah, soon you'll get better Ooh-ah, you'll get better soon

Ooh-ah, soon you'll get better Ooh-ah, soon you'll get better Ooh-ah, you'll get better soon

Songwriters: Jack Antonoff / Taylor Swift

Soon You'll Get Better lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC