Walking Together: The Power of Presence and Practical Support for Caregivers
What if we were all still functioning in some ways like children? Not in the diaper-wearing, crying out of sheer exhaustion, or “house-rearranging and toys everywhere” ways (not so much), but in the fresh, curious, desperate-to-learn ways. I long for the day when I feel I am grown up enough to not really care about what people think of me but rather dive right into the deep waters of life and become curious again about each human being—just like a child.
Recently, a relationship that began many years ago with the amazing Mandy Pallock of Pallock Productions led to a deep, unfiltered exchange of ideas on her podcast “Resilient & Curious,” faith-based conversation series to build relationships in 2025. We talked about my journey caring for our son, Robert, who passed away after struggling for eighteen years with his rare mitochondrial disease, and what it was like to walk alone and with the help of others. It surprised me for us to be so openly honest and raw about my life experiences and navigating that path successfully and unsuccessfully at times. I had no idea our frankness would look like this. Even a fly on the wall listening would wonder why I cried in the middle of it and laughed out loud with her in the midst of the most tender moments.
You know those times when you have had a conversation with someone and then you replayed it in your head because you were sure you said something wrong, or you made up a word just because it sounded right? (Thank you to the musical, “Wicked,” for legitimizing new words!) Well, that is what I was a little afraid of when I sat down to record this episode with Mandy. I might not say things that were politically correct or acceptable to the greater community. I was hesitant to be my authentic self with all of my humanness, but then I realized that I have no other way of “being” than just being myself. I am a flawed, often stumbling woman who desires those deep conversations, so I am learning that having them in private or on-air for all the world to hear is better than not having them at all. I realize I have been chosen for beautiful things that have been born out of pain, and yet, they remain beautiful.
So, what’s in it for you? Why should you add this series to your list of things to do? Let me share one example of why you should tune in and listen.
Society as a whole has not acknowledged openly the stress on caregivers, and only recently has it become a conversation as baby boomers are aging and being cared for by their children, at the same time that many new genetic diseases are being identified in children, requiring some adults to be stretched as they care for both the young and the old. The “sandwich” generation is real! In my opinion based on my experiences as a caregiver, medical professionals, schools, churches, and social services have most often worked successfully providing for the individual needing their care but were found lacking in recognizing the needs of the caregiver. It is hard to place blame on anyone or point fingers finding fault. We just didn’t know. But the caregivers knew. Because our voices were silent, it appeared we did not need help.
This is what I want you to take away from this conversation:
As a caregiver, you have the ability to use your voice to advocate for your loved one or patient, and also for yourself! I mention several ways in which you can do that successfully.
As a person with disabilities, you have the right to be seen and loved. I share ways in which we can strengthen our communication skills to help each other grow in this area.
All of us can open our eyes and see the caregiver and those with disabilities and commit to advocate for them to be included. I share a few suggestions to add to your routines.
“Walking Together: The Power of Presence and Practical Support for Caregivers,” as Mandy has brilliantly titled our time together in my home, speaks to the ability that each of us has to show up for each other and walk kindly in relationships. You may not serve as a caregiver now or know of one, but I believe that one day you will encounter a caregiver or an individual who is struggling. You may even be the very person who needs the help.
I cannot urge you strongly enough to listen to our conversation, not because it is the two of us sharing life in the moment, but because you may need these answers one day. I am here for all of it: the good, the raw, the unexpected, the ugly things and the joys of life. I am here for those conversations, and I hope that you are, too.
Our conversation, “Walking Together: The Power of Presence and Practical Support for Caregivers,” will stream March 27-28. (Registrants will have access to all 15 talks until June 30). Tickets are $29.99. Sign up by March 7 for $10 off, and use the code “inourarms” for another $5 off as a friend of Grace in Real Life.
Find out more at curiousconversations.org.
I hope you tune in to our conversation, my friend, and then comment with your thoughts. I want to hear your voice.
Listening Library: “Chosen” (Madison Ryann Ward)
Chosen
You are chosen
For beautiful things
Even broken
I hear the stars singing your praise
Calling you out
Saying your name
No it's no doubt
God made no mistake
You are chosen
For beautiful things
Don't get caught up in comparison
Keep it original like you’ve been
This is the time to be all you can
Give yourself another hand
Take all the pressures up off your head
Every blessing is heaven-sent
You are chosen
For beautiful things
For beautiful things
Beautiful, beautiful things
For beautiful things
You are chosen
Even broken
You are chosen
Even broken
You are chosen
Even broken
You are chosen
For beautiful things
Songwriters: Madison Ward
Chosen lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., O/B/O DistroKid, Peermusic Publishing, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
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