Love letters to...Dear Chris

Dear Chris …

The characteristic I love about you the most is that you are a man of simple truths. You grow daily in your love for your God and your family, and you seek to find the best answers to the hard questions. From the three books you read at a time, to the Hallmark and History Channel movies, to the music that is always on your mind, you find a way to learn new concepts every day. New thoughts, complex ideas, but always laced with God’s truths. Simple truths.

You have rarely been attracted to the glitz and glamour of affluence, and even find ways to avoid the appearance of it in your life. (Except, of course, for your love of the Formula One race cars!) You find it easy to be grateful for the blessings you have and, most often, are satisfied with what is in your hand.

The most obvious example for me has been the gift of your caduceus Tiffany & Co. pen from me. I love this pen because of its symbolism of peace and healing — characteristics of your medical career that you have sought to bring to each of your patients. I have purchased it for you three times and even as I give this one to you today, you will repeat what you have told me again and again.

“Don’t buy me another nice pen because I will just lose it!”

I, on the other hand, have several nice pens that I still place back into their special blue pouch each time I use them because I want to cherish them. But, to you it is just a pen. It works as it should and, for that, you are grateful, but it doesn’t hold any more value because of where it came from. Just like people. You don’t care where they came from. It only matters to you who they are in relationship to you. It’s a person. It’s a pen. You may cherish it because I gave it to you; however, I could have given you any writing utensil, and it would probably have held the same value to you as the special pen. Simple truths … you love the giver not the gift.

With respect to our five children, however, the giver and the gift of each one of them is of most value! I love how you seek to know and understand who each of them are. It takes time and energy to do that, especially with our gift named “Robert.” Sometimes you hold those feelings of deep love for them really close to your heart. But those feelings bubble up when you talk about your love for them, or you pray for them. Simple truths … still waters run deep.

Now, if the pen had a Star Trek figure on it, that would be another story! Let’s talk about that special love in your heart for those men, women and aliens aboard the Star Trek Enterprise … in all their journeys! Even though I know how much you love the gift of your new Star Trek Christmas tree ornaments each year, it is not the ornaments themselves that you cherish. It is the years of relationships and conversations between the characters that most speak to you. The “Darmok“ episode of “Star Trek: The Next Generation” (Season 5, Episode 2) is the one episode you love the most because it speaks about two individuals not able to speak each other’s language, but who are forced to communicate and come to an understanding of the other. In every relationship you enjoy, you find ways to connect with others and understand who they are and how best to communicate with them. Simple truths … deep relationships.

What I think makes your life beautiful is that you can see past the surface things of this life and find the deep waters that I often overlook. I remember when we were in college, and I realized you were a man of deep thoughts. It scared me because I knew I would never be able to fully grasp your profound level of thought. But you did not require that of me. Simple truths … love over intellect.

I can honestly say after forty-three years in relationship with you that I know you are the smartest man I know. It is something I took for granted early on in our marriage because you shied away from any attention that would bring you glory because of the gifts He had given you. But God continues to give you wisdom and favor. Simple truths … wisdom graced with humility.

The Intensive Care Unit at any hospital has become your second home. You treat each colleague, staff member, patient and family member with respect and grace, even when it causes you to grieve or walk away. You have suffered with them and for them. Simple truths … what matters most in the end is love.

On this Wednesday in 2023, I realize the man that you are is not simple at all. You are just always looking for the simple truths of:

• love over material things

• deep relationships

• love over intellect

• wisdom graced with humility

• and the realization that what matters most in the end is love.

I wish I could fully tell you how much I have learned from you as your wife. I wish I had adequate words to express my love and respect for you. I guess I will just use the next forty-three years of my life to do so.

Happy Love Month! I love you. Please hold on tightly to this beautiful pen this time! Somewhere over the rainbow, you may wish to write me a letter. XO

Listening Library: “Over the Rainbow ” (Jane Monheit)

https://youtu.be/9rlsunyShY0

“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” (Micah 6:8 NIV)

Over the Rainbow

Someday I'll wish upon a star And wake up where the clouds are far behind me Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me

When all the clouds are a hopeless jumble And the raindrops tumble to the ground Heaven opens a magic lane

When all the clouds darken up the skyway There's a rainbow highway to be found Leading from your windowpane To a place beyond the sun Just a step behind the rain

Somewhere over the rainbow way up high There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue And the dreams that you dare to dream Really do come true

Someday I'll wish upon a star And wake up where the clouds are far behind me Behind me where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow Bluebirds fly Birds fly over the rainbow Why then, oh why can't I?

Someday I'll wish upon a star And wake up where the clouds are far behind me Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow Bluebirds fly Birds fly over the rainbow Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly Beyond the rainbow Why, oh why can't I?

Songwriters: Harold Arlen / E Harburg

Over the Rainbow lyrics © Emi Feist Catalog Inc.