From the Seat Behind

What a feeling of frustration I felt as I lined up to board my flight. A woman casually walked in front of me not knowing or perhaps ignoring my staked position in line. You know what I mean. It can get you all “Justice is mine!” stressed out before you even get on the plane. I made all kinds of assumptions in my very active imagination, but then I calmed myself down, knowing we were all getting on the plane with our assigned seats. Not to worry.

It didn’t take me long to get settled into my seat once I boarded. My carry-on bags were properly stowed, and my antibacterial wipe was generously applied to the areas around me. My heart, however, could not settle as I watched a young couple in the seats in front of me lovingly care for their son with disabilities. I could hardly take my eyes off of this sweet young boy as he gazed at me between the seats. I really do not think he could see me. I saw him, though.

But, settled? That was not going to be my disposition on this flight. I was in a place of heartache, and I desperately wanted to somehow give a word of encouragement to these traveling parents. When is it appropriate to reach over and touch a mom’s shoulder to speak grace and love to her?

“I don’t know her,” I kept telling myself.

“She may not appreciate the intrusion,”  I reasoned.

Even writing this now as I remember secretly observing my three flight companions, I wonder if I overstepped. Was it wrong to look and desperately want to relieve any of their caregiving responsibilities? I think it is normal for any parent who has also been gifted with a medically fragile child. We see, and we can’t help ourselves. We want to say a word or share an understanding smile.

The soft gurgling sound as his mom suctioned his trachea caught my attention. I wished I could do something — anything to help. But they really didn’t need me to do anything. This mom and dad had this routine down. They were a secure unit of three.

I watched with gratitude as the woman who occupied the seat this couple needed gave up her seat so this family could sit together. What grace. What attention to their needs. Her beautiful accent was easily heard over the hum of the idling plane as she spoke to them in lilting tones.

“Now, you can all be together,” she said as she moved from her seat to the row in front of them.

So, what would you do? How would you observe and respond? I hope you would be the person willing to give up your seat. I hope you would look on in gratitude for parents in this world who care that much. I hope I will pay more attention each time I see a family traveling with a child with disabilities. I hope I am the one who gets the honor of giving up my seat. I hope I am brave enough each time to speak a gentle word of support. I hope.

A few hours later, I did just that. I reached my hand in between the seats in front of me, and I had the joy of speaking with the mom. She was beautiful and amazingly gracious as I inserted myself into her morning. She was kind with her attention. I wished her all the best, shared that I had also cared for my son, and thanked her for bringing their son on the plane so I could meet him. I am richer because of that split second moment and clearer in my understanding of how others may have viewed us when we traveled with Robert on his very few trips. I got it. I saw something of myself observing in a private bubble from the seat behind.

I could have missed all of this beautiful journey on Saturday. I am so thankful that I didn’t allow a moment of discomfort for me as we lined up for entrance onto the plane distract me from the real discomfort that others were experiencing. I reminded myself of that truth as I went about my day missing my Robert and thinking of how wonderful it is to be a parent of a child with disabilities.

Forge on, you superhero parents! We see you.

Listening Library: Love God Love People (Danny Gokey)

https://youtu.be/t-29WLQ3trA?si=hBVQ7jc20Bvt4ENP

Love God Love People

I've been running in circles

Jumping the hurdles

Getting caught in that rush of doing so much

I'm feeling kinda worn out

All this checking the boxes

Tryna be flawless

Has me spinning my head, catching my breath

Too afraid to slow down

I tell myself to keep this up

That God wants more than just my love

But I've been complicating things

It's just like me to overthink

Gotta keep it real simple, keep it real simple

Bring everything right back to ground zero

'Cause it all comes down to this

Love God and love people (people)

We're living in a world that keeps breakin'

But if we wanna find the way to change it

It all comes down to this

Love God and love people

Oh, this is freedom (this is freedom)

The keys to the Kingdom (hey)

Knowing life will be found when love can be loud

'Cause love is what it's all about

I tell myself to keep this up

That all God wants is just my love

No more complicating things

No more need to overthink

Gotta keep it real simple, keep it real simple

Bring everything right back to ground zero

'Cause it all comes down to this

Love God and love people (people)

We're living in a world that keeps breakin'

But if we wanna find the way to change it

It all comes down to this

Love God and love people

Love is patient, love is kind

Rescues hearts and changes lives

Love is all we need to make things right

Gotta keep it real simple, oh

It's really so simple, oh, whoa, oh

Gotta keep it real simple, keep it real simple

Bring everything right back to ground zero (yeah)

'Cause it all comes down to this

Love God and love people (people)

We're living in a world that keeps breakin' (oh yeah)

But if we want to find the way to change it (find the way, yeah)

It all comes down to this (everything comes down to this)

Love God and love people (woo)

Keep on loving, keep on loving (oh)

Love God and love people (people)

So keep on loving, keep on loving

It's all about loveIt's how we change the world

Love God and love people

Songwriters: Benjamin Michael Glover / Colby Tyler Wedgeworth / Danny Jay Gokey / Jeff Sojka / Riley Elizabeth Clemmons

Love God Love People lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Capitol CMG Publishing, Essential Music Publishing, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.